To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight. And never stop fighting." -e.e. cummings
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace
Sometimes i feel like i have everything figured out like i know what to expect from certain people, certain things, certain situations. what happens when your expectations are short lived? You are left to wonder what might have gone wrong, what changed? things change, people change i know that but i feel like sometimes people change and they forget to tell others. you are left wondering what to do, who to run to, who to talk to, what to say, what to think. There are days that things go as you expected, other days they take a complete 360 turn. i seem to have no days going my way lately.Trying to think what I've done wrong. Trying to figure out where i am going, what I am planning to do. Have you ever had this feeling that everyone around you is happier, different .. but you are just the same, still standing waiting to see what happens, waiting to see what the day has in store for you. I have given up on anticipating for things, getting excited over things that probably will end up disappointing me. I try to live life like a game, if you play your cards right you come out alive. I don't write this blog to give people advice or encouragement, I write what i feel, what goes on in my life. It is the only way i can be honest to myself and others around me. It's like i can't express my feelings in words. You might not understand me .. but i understand myself, at least i think i do. I am looking for that clarity, that hope that sometimes comes in the most peculiar ways, that confirmation that everything's going to be alright. I am trying too look for happiness, i hope it finds me.
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