It's Not A Bird, It's Not A Plane. It's My Heart And It's Going.. Gone Away..

Beautiful Morning, She looks over and she sees her phone blinking. A new text message she supposes. She's hoping it's a certain someone. That someone who will probably plaster a smile on her face immediately. She reaches over for it and just like she had hoped, it did make her smile, not necessarily for what it read but more who it was from. You know sometimes sadness becomes such a big part of your life that you expect to always be there because you cannot remember a time in your life when it was not. But then one day you feel something else, which considers wrong, just because it’s so unknown. And in that moment you will see that you are happy.  “I am happy, I feel happy.” She whispers to herself as she jumps up and starts dancing. Her dancing is uncoordinated... all over the place, but she still has that smile on her face. She is not sure whether this will last long or if it will last at all. She hopes that it will last forever and a day. Cheesy?  Yes but that is what she hopes for. For a long time she had been hoping that things would work out the way they did and now that it has, she can’t help but smile. She wonders whether this is a mutual thing. She wonders whether she is in this solo or whether “they" are in it together. She hopes that they are in this together. A part of her knows that they are, the other part can’t help but wonder.  What if she is some part of a huge plan? What if hearts get broken? What if she doesn’t find what she is looking for? Is she looking for something in particular? You know every once in a while people step up, to rise above themselves. Sometimes they surprise you, and sometimes less. Life is funny sometimes, can push quite hard, but if you look close enough to find hope in the words of children, bar one song and in the eyes of someone you love. And if you’re lucky, if you are the luckiest person on this entire planet the person you love decides to love you back. She isn’t the same person. She has new priorities now. She cares for someone. She likes someone. She puts this person before others. She is not afraid to tell the whole world but then again she is afraid that that my jinks the whole thing. She has been warned. But she won’t listen. She is getting herself into something that she hopes will build her and not break.  This is how she is feeling.  <3

Dear Future Husband,

I wonder .. i always do. Who are you? Where are you? Have i met you yet? It's all so fascinating to me that at the end of the day everyone is going to end up with the person they are meant to end up with.But then again in this generation of ours where chivalry is practically dead, you really never know.  Maybe at this point in your life, you know exactly what you want. Maybe you have already met your future wife/ husband. Maybe you have not. Maybe you have but you don't know it yet. Maybe you don't want to. Maybe you are like my best firend Cole who wants to get married at the age of eighty five which is rather barbaric if you ask me but then again it's her we are talking about here. Probably the most fascinating person you will ever meet. But like i was saying you never know what fate has held in store for you. As i write this, the song "until the end of time" by Justin Timberlake  is playing in the background. I am already decided that this song will be played at my wedding and also "Ribbon in the sky"- stevie wonder. That is if i do have a wedding, you know if i ever get there. Have you ever stopped to think about the fact that there is a love so strong, it conquers all. You know people sing about it, write books about it .. better yet make movies about it but is it really there? Can it be really you and your loved one against the world? I like to think that it is there. I hope it is.. love as people say is the closest thing to magic. It all sounds so stupid but what if it is real, it could be the best thing ever. Have you experienced something like this? I for sure know i haven't. Maybe you have, someone you know? I'm only sixteen so i'm not in a rush to figure it out. I'll wait and see. You know the reason why people are supposed to date is so that they can be able to pick out a person to spend the rest of their lives with. But the more you look at the dating world it is less of that and more of people merely wanting sexual satisfaction, the idea of always having someone there. People date trying to fit in. This is far from the real purpose of dating. You might disagree with me but then again I'm not trying to be right I am just stating my opinion about this.  Considering this and looking at your dating life right now. What is it that you are looking for? Are you looking for someone you can have a good time with? I mean you can find those they are called friends? Are you looking for someone you can talk to? You can find those as well, they are called best friends. Or maybe you are looking for both in one? Yes? How lucky would you be if you find a best friend and a lover all in one person? Well they are not easily found, but they are there. Maybe you just need too look harder and you'll find that one person. True love? haha Maybe? Who knows? .. ahhh Not me :)


Always And Forever

Funny You Say That.

Don't you hate it when people say they absolutely hate something or they hate it when someone does something .. when they do the exact same thing and see no problem with it? That has to be the number one thing that makes me Shake My Head. I look at the things people do, things people say and i sometimes wonder is it all about you? Does it have to be all about you? Are you that selfish? I feel like people fail to realize that life is a two way street. Tit for Tat a fair game right? Selfishness. The "me" mentality. You know those people who only do things that benefit themselves and in the process they say things like i care for you that's why I am doing this but later you come to find out that they only do these things because in the end it benefits them? Those people who hit you up only when they need something. They call themselves your friends. Those people who expect you to be at their beck and call but they can't do the same for you. We all know people like this. As you read through this you could probably think of a few names. Picture a couple faces. Shake Your Head at a couple of situations. Sometimes we fail to realize when people are doing this. They are probably the nicest people you will ever meet. So good with their words, actions sometimes. You know life would be easier if we could  read minds. It would help us know when people are being for real or not. You wouldn't have to ask and most of all you would be able to avoid the risk of being lied to. Fake people would be figured out. I really need this in my life right now. Well maybe reading minds is quite impossible well.. very impossible but maybe if you try to be more careful with the people you trust. Don't trust any Tom Dick or Harry. Don't Over extend yourself for someone who won't do the same for you. Simple As That. <3

New Year. New Beginnings ? For some It Is Nothing But Misery.

It's currently 1.1.2011. Many have already proclaimed that it's their year. Some just view it as another normal day. Others say they will change for the better most of them never do.. Some of them do but only a hundred out of the million. This fine Saturday, i spent my time with Victoria Hamilton, Amber Hamilton and Faith Henry. We went to brier creek and nothing but laughter and smiles were shared among us. You know how sometimes no matter what happens in your life you get to this point where you are with your friends.. they make you laugh smile and every other feeling goes away and in that moment no matter how short it is  you feel happy .. Like truly happy not the forced kinda happiness :) So far so good. It's not exactly how i pictured to start my year. I thought it would be different but either way it was a good start. One of my friends lost a loved one today.. Tragic? Yes very. I can't imagine how he feels. It's supposed to be a new year full of happiness and joy leaving all the bad things in the previous year. But no this happened on the first of January. The first day of a brand new year. The beginning of everything. Sometimes you look at the things around you and you wonder why... Why do bad things happen to good people? Sometimes bad things happen to the best people and it isn't fair, we can't understand this. People say everything in this world happens for a reason but we don't always see the reason behind everything. What do we do when all hope is lost? The hope of a life renewed? We wait. This year 2011 Might have started bad for others.. Great for the rest but one thing that i know i will live this year to the fullest. I won't let little things distract me form the main goal. I will keep my friends and family close.. at the end of the day that's all i need. i won't live to please people. i won't look back on things and regret them. One thing that won't change is that i will always have my guard up. It's always better to be safe than sorry.